Personal Goal-Setting

A person stands at a fork in the path, surrounded by tall trees.

We all like the freedom to choose our own path. At a minimum, we want a say in the direction of our trajectory (like when I can’t decide what I want for dinner but if someone suggests a few options, it’s much easier for me to make a decision). It’s counter-intuitive, then, that so often at school, we don’t let students have input in their desired learning outcomes.

I get it - I really get it! - because we have so much curricula to cover in the classroom (or for parents, such limited family time to get everything accomplished) that adding something else to the agenda is anxiety-inducing. We want to control all the variables, and ensure students have the outcomes which we’want for them.

What do they want for themselves?

This seemingly simple shift in thinking has transformed my classroom. When I gave students the right to set their own goals, I immediately saw so much more growth! My only regret about this shift in practice is that I didn’t do it sooner!

Let me give you some context…

Prior to the mandatory online learning period in my province in 2020 (due to the COVID-19 pandemic), students in my program worked on 4 goals for their school setting and 4 goals in their home setting. While sometimes students picked their own goals, the majority of these goals were first suggested by their teachers and parents/guardians. I always had an unsettled feeling about how we did things. For one, it was way too many goals for meaningful growth. For two, I began to consider the impact of being told there are SO MANY THINGS you need to do better at. What’s the message to children? I’m no good at all of these things. I’m bad. I need fixing.

I realized three things:

  1. Too many goals negatively impact self-esteem.

  2. Goals must be framed differently. They aren’t a punishment but something we all use - autistic or otherwise - to grow.

  3. If I want to help students to become confident decision-makers, I must make choices as a teacher that give them decision making powers.

A hand covers part of a chalk slate. The word "POSSIBLE" remains visible.

Anything’s possible!

With some trepidation, I introduced a new system. Students got to choose and self-assess 1 goal at school and one goal at home. They had a chart they could use to track how they felt they were doing and could work on the goal for as long as they wanted. We’d conference every two weeks and review how things were going. Goals could be related to anything in the school or home setting they wanted to refine, improve, master, etc. It could be something that was difficult for them, like focusing in class, or something they were good at already but wanted to master, like an artistic student setting a goal to work on shading. I made a concerted effort to talk about my own goals, how we are all works-in-progress,. and that goals are a powerful and positive tool to help us grow in the areas in which we want to grow!

SURPRISE # 1 - Students picked relevant and meaningful goals, across the board! They picked things that they actually wanted to get better at and showed a great deal of self-awareness in what they selected. Often these aligned with what adults would express as areas of need. Sometimes, goals were very creative, like a student wanting to work to learn a new verb conjugation each day so they were more comfortable with their French language program. For brand-new students, sometimes they’d ask for goal examples or topics. I’d let them know, “We sometimes help other students with organization, feel more confident participating in class, deal with anxiety, figure out what helps their brain to focus, ask for help when it is needed…” and more! Students could then decide exactly what they wanted to work on for the foreseeable future. I’d type the goal in their own words, coaching for greater specificity if needed. How did I know student monitoring was accurate? I would still touch base with teachers and parents/guardians by email to see their perception of how students were doing on the goal in their particular setting, but the most important voice was the student’s.

Tangible rewards aren’t effective for long-term change.

SURPRISE # 2 - Students didn’t need rewards. They worked on things without me dangling carrots. In fact, they worked more enthusiastically on their goals - a combination of having self-determination to select a goal that they actually wanted to do. (Interestingly, only one student asked about our former points system.) Instead of tallying points or doling out prizes, I ended conferences by asking students what they were doing for their own self-care. What had they done to relax recently? What were they planning to do to take care of themselves this week? I wanted them to WANT to goal-set and grow, and not because they got something for it. I wanted to be more realistic, and teach a new skill - that as adults, we have to find ways to recognize and reward our own efforts (big or small). I didn’t relish the idea of being the doler-outer of “motivation” because I truly believe students want to do well, that “motivation” is never the issue, and that any lack of success is really due to some kind of barrier that we could circumvent together. I also felt uneasy about not rewarding (punishing!) students who were putting in effort but for whom progress takes more time and requires more effective supports. I hoped students would recognize growth is a journey, and there are sometimes setbacks or changes to the route. That is okay! (Subsequent readings of Alfie Kohn’s works on the negative impact of rewards and punishments has given me even more to think about!)

Picture of free self-advocacy tool called "What to Do When You're Stuck"

What to Do When You’re Stuck resource.

SURPRISE # 3 - I learned and enjoyed my role so much more! I got to coach students toward what they were working on. I have always aimed to be non-judgmental and oriented toward, “What do we do going forward?” and this model really enabled me to develop my relationships and student problem-solving abilities. Students had powerful insights into their own learning, and helped me to understand what could support them better. For instance, I heard time and again that students had trouble starting tasks, and through conferencing, I identified some common reasons which helped me to create this free self-advocacy tool. I’ve become a better teacher. Our conferences were framed around the following questions:

  • How did they feel the goal was going?

  • Was anything becoming easier?

  • Was any part of it still a challenge? What part? Why?

  • What could help with that challenge? (Was there something they could do or access, or an adult could help them with, to make it easier?)

  • What have you done recently/what are you going to do to relax and take care of yourself?

SURPRISE # 4 - When given more input, students also had thoughtful and creative strategies to try to meet their goals. (Okay, this wasn’t really a surprise for me, as I’ve been using Ross Greene’s Collaborative & Proactive Solutions with students for years, but it bears mentioning for the curious reader!) They know from our regular conferences that if a strategy doesn’t work, that’s okay; we always come back to the drawing board. They choose what they want to try, whether it’s a student-led strategy like taking a “washroom break” so they get an opportunity for a brain and body break in a work period and can come back fresh, or a teacher-led strategy, such as a post-it with the next step to work on placed on the corner of their desk. I’d email teachers/parents about the strategies the student would be trying so everyone knew what was being worked on, and the student was also encouraged to tell the teacher if they needed specific environmental or instructional supports.

SURPRISE 5 - I saw benefits across domains! Self-esteem. Mood. Confidence in goal-setting. Metacognition (thinking about their own thinking/learning). Problem-solving. The ability to express their thoughts and feelings. Self-advocacy (asking for what they need). Their belief in their own abilities. Self-regulation. Over the last two years, I’ve also asked students what they think about choosing their own way. They’ve told me variations of:

  • Choosing goals is hard for autistic people and so it’s helping me to get better at making decisions

  • I feel defeated when someone else tells me all the things I need to do.

  • Adults don’t always pick something I’m ready or wanting to work on. I can choose what’s right for me.

  • I like choosing when to change to a different goal. I can make sure I feel good about how I’m doing before I change to something new.

  • I can pick what is important to me.

A sign posted on a fence outside reads, "Work in progress"

Collectively, we found this process freeing. It’s still a work-in-progress - as am I! a teacher, I’m learning to set aside my fears and to think about how I can help students become who they want to be. It’s a joy to watch. And when parents or teachers tell me how much progress they’re seeing, I tell them - I had nothing to do with it. The credit goes entirely to the child. They’re in the driver seat, in charge of the route and the destination. I’m just good company (I like to think), enjoying every second of the ride.

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Discoveries of a Late-Diagnosed Autistic Advocate

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Finding Calm as a Family